just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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