He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
