I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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