she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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