"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
