she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
