thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
