please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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