How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Bring me that man meat
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
