I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
