This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
