haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
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I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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