On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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