i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
