Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
