My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
