I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
