They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
