So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
