I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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