He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
