Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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