around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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