I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
