You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
is that a dick in a sweater?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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