I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
