Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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