I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
