i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
