Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
