plz talk dirty to me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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