i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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