i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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