had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
