Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
cat food counts as protein by the way
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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