spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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