fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
