2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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