I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize