wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
