You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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