Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's never too late to be topless.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
