are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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