dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Terrible idea I love it
tell me about the eggs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize