I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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