just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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