I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
