dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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