Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
