Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
