used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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