You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's never too late to be topless.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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