I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
