I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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