Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
