So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
