bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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