apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
