I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
