Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
