is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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