It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
