She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
