he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
