she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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