she was so not down for the gang bang
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
